Work and Office jokes / page 4

jokes: 31 - 40 of 51
category: Work & Office jokes

A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off:

"I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses."

Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note:

"I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job... Lead us not into temptation."

70.78% like joke (592 votes)
category: Work & Office jokes

A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."
"All right. How long do you need them?"
The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."

70.88% like joke (595 votes)
category: Work & Office jokes

Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

70.72% like joke (590 votes)
category: Work & Office jokes

A woman and baby are in the doctors surgery, the doc is concerned about the babys weight, "Is he bottle fed or breast fed?
The woman replies, "Breast fed."
The doc gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her breasts.
He pinches her nipples and sucks and rubs both breasts for a while ... "No wonder the baby is underweight, you have no milk."
Woman replies, "I know, Im his granny ... but Im glad I came!"

70.6% like joke (591 votes)
category: Work & Office jokes

There was a trucker riding along on a highway, While riding he sees a priest on the side of the road sticking his thumb out trying to catch a ride. So out of curtisy the trucker stops and picks up the priest. They start chatting and having a good time. On the way they see a homeless person on the side of the street. The truckers veers off and hits the homeless person. *bu-dump* the trucker sees homeless person,*bu-dump* the driver who is laughing histerically wasn't watching the road and there was another bu-dump, The driver immediatly stops and looks around nervous."what was that?" he looks at the priest and the priest looks back."You missed a homeless guy, but don't worry I got him with the door."

70.68% like joke (591 votes)
category: Work & Office jokes

Patient comes to the doctor, doctor says:

- So, what concerns you?
- Dr, everyone ignores me!
- Next!

70.68% like joke (592 votes)
category: Work & Office jokes

A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him:

- Do you smoke?
- No.
- Do you drink?
- No.
- Do you eat fast food?
- No.
- Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...

70.7% like joke (593 votes)
category: Work & Office jokes

Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him...

- Good, good, good...
- Doctor, what's good?
- Good that I don't have what you have...

70.68% like joke (589 votes)
category: Work & Office jokes

Two truck drivers trying to drive under a bridge.
Driver, "Oh no, the height of bridge is 2.7m and our truck is 3m."
2nd driver, "it's ok, just go, there is no cops around."

70.66% like joke (590 votes)
category: Work & Office jokes

Air traffic controller:
"Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"

70.6% like joke (593 votes)
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