Work & Office jokes

Funny jokes about work or from office, profession jokes, construction jokes, .....

jokes: 21 - 30 of 51 |previous jokes12 3 456next jokes
category: Work & Office jokes21.

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a five-week vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching your retirement fund to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"
The young engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

joke rating: 3.54 of 593 votes

category: Work & Office jokes22.

Rita is complaining to her friends about her husband's extreme dedication to his new job.
You see, Rita's husband has been jobless for quite a while.
She tells her friends, " I appreciate the fact that at last he's found a new job, but I don't like him taking his work home and finishing it in our bedroom."

"Why, what's his new job?"
" He's an embalmer."

joke rating: 3.53 of 590 votes

category: Work & Office jokes23.

There is woman at a mental hospital that are told to go out into the world and find out something new about it.
After about 3 hours she go back to the hospital and tell the the manager what she has learned.
The woman goes up to the manager and puts a large spider on the table and shouts, "BOO" and the spider scurries under the table.
She then picks up the spider, pulls all of it's legs off and shouts, "BOO" but the spider can't move.
The manager then looks strangely at the woman and asks her what she has learned about the world.
The woman replies, "When I pull all the legs off a spider it can't hear me!!!!!!"

joke rating: 3.53 of 592 votes

category: Work & Office jokes24.

I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

joke rating: 3.53 of 591 votes

category: Work & Office jokes25.

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled...

joke rating: 3.53 of 594 votes

category: Work & Office jokes26.

Big inspection on a build site/yard.
The boss tells the workers : what ever happens just act as usual.
The inspection committee were inspecting when a wall just colapses.
-(Worker looking at his watch) : 10:15, just on time

joke rating: 3.54 of 590 votes

category: Work & Office jokes27.

When 40 people think at food, it`s called funeral.
When 38 people think at food, and 2 at s*x it`s called wedding.
When 40 people think at s*x, it`s team-building.

joke rating: 3.52 of 593 votes

category: Work & Office jokes28.

Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?

joke rating: 3.53 of 589 votes

category: Work & Office jokes29.

This couple board this jetliner for a trip to New York.
The jetliner gets full of passengers and they are to go but, they notice that there are no attendants or pilots.
The door closes and the jetliner starts taxing down the taxiway towards the runway and starts to take off as they are airborne the intercom says,
Welcome to flight 1313 non stop to New York as you can see there are no attendants and or pilots this aircraft is totally computerized so sit back and enjoy the flight because there is nothing that can go wrong go wrong go wrong go wrong .....

joke rating: 3.53 of 589 votes

category: Work & Office jokes30.

A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener.
Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it.
Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire.
Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."

joke rating: 3.54 of 591 votes

jokes: 21 - 30 of 51 |previous jokes12 3 456next jokes

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