Retirement jokes

Funny jokes about people in retiremnt.

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When I die, I wanna go like my grandpa... peacefully... sleeping... unlike the passengers in his car.

rating: 3.28 of 25 votessend joke:

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

rating: 3.62 of 52 votessend joke:

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You must keep in shape.
My grandmother started walking five kilometers when she was 60 and now she's 97, and we don't have a clue where she is!

rating: 3.62 of 21 votessend joke:

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A good looking young man (to an old woman):Do you know any lady who likes the pink color, Madam?
Old woman: Why?
Young man: I would like to marry her.
Woman: I like pink color very much.

rating: 1.85 of 47 votessend joke:

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A guy with bright blue, green and orange color hair was standing at a bus stop.
Few moments later an elderly man stood near him and kept staring at him hard.
Annoyed by the stares the guy asked him, "Wotz up oldie! Never done something wild?"
To this the old man replied, "Yeah,I f*cked a peahen once and I'm wondering if you are my son."

rating: 3.88 of 225 votessend joke:

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An elderly woman went to her doctor, complaining about not being able to hear out of one ear.
The doctor then took his penlight, looked in her ear, then took his tweezers, reached in, and pulled something out.
After examining the object for a second, he exclaimed, "Well....it seems you inserted a suppository into your ear...".
The old lady thought for a second, then responded "Gee....I guess that explains why I can't find my hearing-aid...!".

rating: 3.03 of 100 votessend joke:

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I used to hate weddings, all the old ladies would prod me and say 'you'll be next !' They soon stopped that, when I started saying it to them at funerals !

rating: 3.19 of 464 votessend joke:

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A 90 year old women goes to the doctor.
Dr i can't stop farting, sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more.
Well take these pills every day and come back in a week.
Dr what did you do to me not only am i still farting now they smell as well!
Oh very well , now about your hearing...

rating: 3.09 of 736 votessend joke:

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The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

rating: 3.09 of 70 votessend joke:

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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit...retire!

rating: 2.97 of 72 votessend joke:

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