Police jokes

Funny jokes about police and cops.

jokes: 11 - 20 of 26 |previous jokes1 2 3next jokes
category: Police jokes11.

An old lady was speeding down the highway while she was knitting.
A cop sees this and speeds up alongside her vehicle.
"Pullover!" the cop says
"No!" the woman replied, "They're mittens!"

joke rating: 3.53 of 597 votes

category: Police jokes12.

A police station gets 2 new horses and 2 cops are assigned to be mounted policemen. They go on a ride and come back pleased.
"This horse is great! From now on I'll always take this one" said the first cop.
"My horse's great too. So I'll always take it" replied the second cop.
"But how do we know which is which?"
They though for a minute or two and one of them came up with an idea.
"Lets cut off this ones tail"
The other cop agreed and the horse lost it's tail. The next morning The police chief is standing infront of the horses and looks really mad. The two cops see this and ask whats wrong.
"You two morons cut off the horses tail that's what's wrong!"
"But otherwise we couldn't tell them apart."
"Can't you see the black one is a bit taller then the brown one.?!"

joke rating: 3.54 of 594 votes

category: Police jokes13.

A drunk man was smoking drugs while driving.
The policeman stop him and says, "Show me you ID?"
The drunk man, "What drugs??"

joke rating: 3.53 of 590 votes

category: Police jokes14.

How is a police car like a women?
It flashes and It usually has a d*ck in it.

joke rating: 3.52 of 594 votes

category: Police jokes15.

Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?"
"Yes," replies the little girl.
"Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5.
The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?"
The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!"
"Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"

joke rating: 3.54 of 595 votes

category: Police jokes16.

A man in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
"Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.
"It's okay, Dad," the boy said, "The police car right behind us did the same thing."

joke rating: 3.53 of 591 votes

category: Police jokes17.

A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her. Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the lady's room.
Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The three cops were standing their waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it."

joke rating: 3.52 of 592 votes

category: Police jokes18.

There was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out.
"YOU'RE DRUNK!" exclaimed the police officer.
"Thank God for that!" said the drunk, "I thought the steering had gone."

joke rating: 3.53 of 589 votes

category: Police jokes19.

Truck driver is stuck under bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

joke rating: 3.54 of 591 votes

category: Police jokes20.

My uncle is with the FBI. They caught him in Cleveland.

joke rating: 3.53 of 592 votes

jokes: 11 - 20 of 26 |previous jokes1 2 3next jokes

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