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category: Work & Office jokes

A priest, a politician and an engineer were scheduled to be executed late in the French revolution. I has to be "public", and people are tired of all the bloodshed, so a crowd of spectators is forcibly rounded up.

The priest is brought up to the guiotine and lays down on the table. The executioner pulls the cord and the heavy steel blade descends ... then shudders to a stop in the middle of the track. The executioner is a very smart guy (which is why he is pulling the cord, rather than laying on the table) so he proclaims, "This is a sign from God, that the life of this priest should be spared!" The priest is set free to the delight of the cheering crowd.

Next the politician is brought up and laid on the table. The cord is pulled, and the blade again shudders to a halt in the same place. The executioner proclaims "The grace of God is extended even to this politician!" and the crowd goes wild with joy!

The engineer steps up last and says "You know, if you tighten that bolt, this thing will work."

69.94% like joke (669 votes)
category: Work & Office jokes

A Texas farmer was touring England. He happened to meet an English farmer and asked him, "What size farm do you have?"

The Englishman proudly announced, "Thirty-five acres!"

"Thirty-five acres?" the Texan scoffed. "Why, I can get in my truck at 8:00 AM and start driving and at noon, I am still on my farm. I can eat lunch and start driving again and at 5:00 PM I am still on my farm.

"Ah, yes," the Englishman nodded in understanding. "I had a truck like that once."

69.54% like joke (655 votes)
category: One line jokes

If you find yourself in a hole. Stop digging.

69.78% like joke (743 votes)
category: Animal jokes

A guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head.
Bartender says, "Where in the world did you get that?"
Frog spoke up, "Would you believe it started out as a wart on my ass!!"

65.46% like joke (907 votes)
category: Math jokes

One day, two thieves stole a bunch of money from a house. First thief: Let us count the money we have stolen. Second thief: Leave, why we will count and waste our time. We can see in the newspaper, tomorrow.

70% like joke (742 votes)
category: Animal jokes

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sir, why the long face."

69.48% like joke (834 votes)
category: Police jokes

Caller: Dials in 911 Hello officer, I broke my arm in 3 places!
Officer: Then stop going to those places.

73.04% like joke (870 votes)
category: Men jokes

Two Tribal Men were sitting around a fire camp and having a serious discussion.
First Tribal says: Hoo
Second Tribal says: Haa
First Tribal says: Hoo
Second Tribal says: Haa
First Tribal says: Hoo
Second Tribal says: Haa
First Tribal says: Hee
Second Tribal says: Don't try to change the Topic!

70.34% like joke (635 votes)
category: Chuck Norris jokes

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

69.38% like joke (670 votes)
category: Men jokes

It's OK for a Man to cry?

At least we know, what were crying about.

J. WOLFE

70.06% like joke (645 votes)
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