Men jokes

category: Men jokes

by: S.G. 26-9-2008

MALE LOGIC

There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which
one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each
of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money.
She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works,
and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you
because I love you so much."


The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a
television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I
bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."


The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market,
doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the
rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future
because I love you so much."


The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the
money and decided to marry the one with the largest breasts...

rating: 2.45 of 9 votes

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category: Men jokes

by: Mai 4-9-2008

UNLUCKY YOUNG MAN

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."

"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."

The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

rating: 3.51 of 46 votes

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category: Men jokes

by: Kubo 28-8-2008

An ideal man doesn't drink, doesn't snore, doesn't watch football, doesn't argue and DOESNT'T EXIST.

rating: 2.67 of 6 votes

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category: Men jokes

by: Kubo 7-5-2008

A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Atlanta.
He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down £500 and says: "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!"
The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."

The trucker replies: "Listen darlin', I'm not horny - I'm homesick."

rating: 3.65 of 11 votes

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category: Men jokes

by: Kubo 10-3-2008

MALE LOGIC

There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which
one to marry. So he decides to give each one 5000 and see how each
of them spends it.
The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money.
She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works,
and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you
because I love you so much."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a
television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I
bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the 5000 and invests it in the stock market,
doubles her investment, returns the 5000 to the man and reinvests the
rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future
because Ilove you so much."
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the
money and decided to marry the one with the largest breasts...

rating: 3.28 of 29 votes

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category: Men jokes

by: Kubo 4-3-2008

Texan: “Where are you from?”
Harvard grad: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”
Texan: “Okay – where are you from, jackass?”

rating: 3.5 of 10 votes

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category: Men jokes

by: Kubo 26-2-2008

Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn't hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It's Irv. "So there is an afterlife! What's it like?" Sid asks. "Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex. Take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep, and wake up the next day." "Oh, my God," says Sid "So that's what heaven is like?" "Oh no," says Irv. "I'm not in heaven. I'm a bear in Yellowstone Park."

rating: 3 of 6 votes

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