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**Math jokes**

A math jokes are a form of humor which relies on aspects of mathematics. The humor may come from a pun, or from a double meaning of a mathematical term. It may also come from a lay person's misunderstanding of a mathematical concept. Funny math jokes are frequently inaccessible to those without a mathematical bent.

Q: Why was the math textbook so sad?

A: He had a lot of problems!

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One says, "I've lost my electron".

The other says, "Are you sure?"

The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive...

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black."

"No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black."

The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears black from here."

An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?"

After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician." The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?"

"Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."

What did one math book say to the other math book?

"I don't know about you man, but I got a lot of problems!"

A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space. "How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk.

"My head's spinning," the engineer confesses. "How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?"

"Well, it's not even difficult.

All I do is visualize the situation in n-dimensional space and then set n = 13."

A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc. A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily. When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"

Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself?

A: Because nobody understood him.

why is 6 afraid of 7?

-because 7 ate 9!!!!

Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation ?

He had to work it out with a pencil......

Maths is like s*x....

ADD the bed

MINUS the clothes

DIVIDE the legs

and pray you don't MULTIPLY.

One day, two thieves stole a bunch of money from a house. First thief: Let us count the money we have stolen. Second thief: Leave, why we will count and waste our time. We can see in the newspaper, tomorrow.

Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8?

Student: Miss horizontally or vertically?

Teacher: What do mean?

Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.

S*x is just like math.

Add the bed.

Subtract the clothes.

Divide the legs.

And hope they don't multiply.