Dirty jokes / page 3

jokes: 21 - 30 of 169
category: D*rty jokes

I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face.
I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."

71.68% like joke (666 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

There was once a priest who wanted to loosen up and get some entertaiment
His brother a pimp showed him to a strip club, but the priest yelled, "Are you out of your mind!?"
The brother countered, "Got any better ideas?"
The priest nodded and took him to a boy scout camp and said, "Litte boy I will give you 10 dollars to take off your clothes and shake it!"
The little boy accepted and started to dance. The priest excitedly said, "NOW THIS IS ENTERTAIMENT!"

68.6% like joke (627 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

In the morning Little Johnny says to his father, "Daddy last night I had my first s*xual encounter."
His father looks at him proudly and says, "When are you planniing to do it again?"
"I don't know daddy ever since it happened my ass has been hurting like crazy."

70.66% like joke (605 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in inappropriate parts and said to his dad, "I wish I could do that."
Jimmy's dad looked down at Jimmy and said, "Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!!"

71.08% like joke (625 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

He came into my room late at night. He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left. It was terrible. It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!

70.82% like joke (616 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

Mum and dad were having s*x and their child came and said: Dad what are you doing ?
Dad: I'm havin fun.
Child: Can I join ?

70.52% like joke (626 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

What starts with a 'C', ends with a 'T', and is hairy on the outside and moist on the inside?
.. Coconut.... What were you thinking?

71.32% like joke (647 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

A woman asked her lover, "Would you keep f*ck me that much even after marriage?
He replied, "Sure dear, if your husband had no objection."

70.36% like joke (607 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

A rich man and a poor man were sitting at a bar having a few drinks and they got chatting. after a while they realise both of there wedding anniverserys are the next day.
Poor man, "What did you get your wife for her wedding anniversery?"
Rich man, "I got her a pink farrari and a diamond ring."
Poor man, "What made you choose those gifts?"
Rich man, "She loves fast cars and I wasnt sure about the ring so if she doesnt like it, she can take it back in her new car... "
The poor, "Man nodds in agreement."
Rich man, "What did you get your wife?"
Poor man, "I got my wife a pair of cheep slippers and a dildo."
Rich man, "Why did you choose those gifts?"
Poor man, " Well if she doesnt like the slippers she can go f*uck herself."

71.3% like joke (677 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard.
Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air.
When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy.
A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!" "What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

71.56% like joke (653 votes)
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