Computer jokes

Funny jokes about computers, email jokes, internet jokes, ....

computer jokes (21)
1

Why did the computer get cold?
Because it forgot to close windows.

72.88% (797 votes)
2

Why was the computer tired when he got home?
Because he had a hard drive.

72.5% (771 votes)
3

Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
A: Data

71.66% (714 votes)
4

What do Scientists have for snacks?
Micro-chips.

71% (648 votes)
5

'Ive just loaded COLIN MCRAE HELICOPTER SIMULATOR on to my PC ... but it keeps crashing ...'

70.94% (598 votes)
6

Q: What is a astronaut's favorite place on the notebook?
A: The space bar!

70.92% (733 votes)
7

I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.

70.86% (615 votes)
8

What's the difference between a computer salesman and a used-car salesman?

The used-car salesman KNOWS when he's lying.

70.84% (595 votes)
9

"Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."

70.82% (592 votes)
10

A system administrator has 2 problems:

- dumb users
- smart users

70.72% (590 votes)
11

How do you tell if a blonde is using a computer?

Their's liquid paper all over the screen!

70.72% (590 votes)
12

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

70.7% (599 votes)
13

Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

70.66% (599 votes)
14

- How do two programmers make money?
- One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses

70.64% (591 votes)
15

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

70.62% (618 votes)
16

Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen?

O2.zip

70.44% (604 votes)
17

A computer technician says "Why even have a 3-chip Hi-Def camcorder if you can't calibrate the white balance"!!!!!!!

70.34% (594 votes)
18

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

70.26% (635 votes)
19

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI ...

70.24% (598 votes)
20

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

70.1% (616 votes)
21

Womens are like computer virus...they ENTER your life...SEARCH your pocket...SHIFT your balance ...CONTROL your life...when you become an old version DELET you from the system

70.06% (667 votes)

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