Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes are a class of jokes based on a stereotype of dumb blonde women.
Blonde jokes nearly always take the format of the blonde placing herself in a situation or making a comment that serves to highlight her lack of intelligence.

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A blonde & brunette are in an elevator. On the third floor a man gets on who's just perfect: 3-piece suit, great build with a nice butt.
Unfortunately, they both noticed, he had really bad dandruff.
The man got off on the 5th floor. Once the doors closed the brunette turned to the blonde and said, "Someone should give him 'Head & Shoulders.'"
To which the blonde replied, "How do you give 'Shoulders'?"

rating: 3.2 of 101 votessend joke:

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What's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?
The light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on .

rating: 3.22 of 91 votessend joke:

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A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

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A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."

So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the
5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

rating: 3.03 of 834 votessend joke:

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A blonde was driving home after work and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to the repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

Her roommate rolled her eyes and said... "HEL-LOOOOOOOO ...You gotta roll up the windows!!!

rating: 3.09 of 715 votessend joke:

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Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.
Hey, asked the brunette at the wheel, see any cops following us?
The blonde turned around for a long look. As a matter of fact, I do.
Oh, NOOOO! yelled the brunette. Are his flashers on?
The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."

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Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work?

So she could draw blood.

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Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.
When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver:''Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?''

The bus driver shakes his head and says,''No, I'm sorry.''

At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: ''Will it take ME?''

rating: 3.01 of 769 votessend joke:

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A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says She is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the Blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked in the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Blonde replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"

rating: 3.21 of 189 votessend joke:

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The chemist looks at the blonde and says, "Can I help you miss?"
"I would like to buy some bottom deodorant please," says the blonde.
"I'm sorry," says the chemist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" Said the blonde, "I will go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to the her
"This is just a normal stick of under arm deodorant".
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container,

"To apply, push up bottom."

rating: 3.16 of 182 votessend joke:

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