Bar jokes

Funny jokes from bar, drinking jokes, beer jokes, drunk jokes, ....

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category: Bar jokes

A young woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a man wearing a cowboy hat. "Excuse me sir but are you a real cowboy?"
The man says, "Well I have a ranch and horses. I go to rodeos and raise cattle and other livestock, so yes I suppose I'm a real cowboy."
The woman says, "Well I think I'm a l*sbian. Women are always on my mind whether I'm working eating driving or whatever its still the same. I cant get women off my mind. Yes I think I'm a l*sbian." The young woman gets up and leaves the coffee shop.
A short time later a young guy comes in and sits down next to the man and asks him, "Sir are you a real cowboy?" To that the man replies, "Well I always thought I was, but just a few minutes ago I found out I'm a l*sbian!"

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category: Bar jokes

A man walks into a bar and says loudly, "Bartender, six shots!" The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow six shots, whats the occasion?" The man replies , "First bl*wjob!" The bartender then pours him a seventh shot and says, "Congrats man, this ones on me." The man then says , "Man if six shots cant get the taste out of my mouth I don't know what will!"

rating: 3.39 of 120 votessend joke:
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category: Bar jokes

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."

rating: 3.9 of 546 votessend joke:
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category: Bar jokes

A man walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables around his neck. The bartender points at him and says, " I'm gonna let you in this time, but don't you start anything"!

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category: Bar jokes

I was out for a drink with the wife last night and I said, "I love you".
She asked me, "Is that you or the beer talking"
I said, "It's me........I'm talking to the beer"!

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category: Bar jokes

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car.
The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her.
When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk's buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the back-seat.
The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend.
The drunk staggered outside to the car, saw Pete and his girlfriend entwined, then walked back into the bar laughing.
"What's so funny?" the bartender asked.
"That damned Pete!" the drunk chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"

rating: 3.42 of 181 votessend joke:
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category: Bar jokes

A blind man and his dog walks into a bar and the blind man starts swinging hid dog around the barman says, "What are you doing?"
A blind man replies, "Nothing I'm just looking around!!!!

rating: 2.98 of 258 votessend joke:
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category: Bar jokes

A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel between his legs and the barman says, "You've got a steering wheel between your legs!"
tThe man replies, "I know its driving me nuts!"

rating: 3.21 of 284 votessend joke:
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category: Bar jokes

A man goes to a bar that has a party the other day, ee asks The boss.

Man: Can someone here give me a bl*wjob?
Boss: Yeah.Here take this balloons and blow them.

rating: 2.16 of 381 votessend joke:
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category: Bar jokes

Damn! every year this birthday cake seems to be getting smaller. Or the alcohol is getting bigger!!

rating: 2.05 of 227 votessend joke:
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