Animal jokes

Funny jokes about animals, dog jokes, cat jokes, rabit jokes, ....

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Two fish in a tank - one says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

rating: 3.11 of 111 votessend joke:

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Where do wild pigs go on weekends?
Pignics.

rating: 2.97 of 647 votessend joke:

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What do you call a smart insect?

A spelling bee.

rating: 2.96 of 744 votessend joke:

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One man walking on the street with two penguins.
His friends get very angry when they see him and they told him to take poor animals to zoo.
Man said them that's great idea and he left.
After 2 hours they saw him again with two penguins and they are angry.
Man said "Why you angry? We been there and now we are going to cinema."

rating: 2.91 of 102 votessend joke:

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Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest.
1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out
and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times
and throw it across the room!
2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and
snort it.
3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2. Home he replied to shag the cat!!

rating: 3.12 of 111 votessend joke:

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A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, "That's not good." and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."

rating: 3.43 of 400 votessend joke:

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What dou you call a fish with no eyes? A FSH

rating: 3.08 of 755 votessend joke:

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A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says his Advisor, "in her biology class."

rating: 3.1 of 422 votessend joke:

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What has four legs and an arm?
A Happy Pit Bull.

rating: 3.17 of 125 votessend joke:

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A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. "Is it true," he asked, "that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"
"That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight."

rating: 2.85 of 430 votessend joke:

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