Best jokes / page 9

jokes: 81 - 90 of 100
category: Kids jokes

Which runs faster, hot or cold?

Hot. Everyone can catch cold.

71.16% like joke (623 votes)
category: Bar jokes

I was out for a drink with the wife last night and I said, "I love you".
She asked me, "Is that you or the beer talking"
I said, "It's me........I'm talking to the beer"!

71.14% like joke (627 votes)
category: Sport jokes

Q: Why did the coach go to the bank
A: To get his quarter-back

71.14% like joke (627 votes)
category: Police jokes

Q: What do u call a police officer that works in bed?
A: A undercover cop.

71.14% like joke (629 votes)
category: Retirement jokes

There were two retired men. One of the men said "I feel like a newborn baby,". The other man asked why. The man said, " I have no hair, no teeth, and I just peed in my pants.

71.14% like joke (647 votes)
category: Yo mama jokes

Yore mama so fat she turned a monster truck into a low rider

71.12% like joke (770 votes)
category: School jokes

Teacher:(I killed a person.)tell me this sentence in future tense.
Student: In future tense, (You will go to jail.)

71.12% like joke (659 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my privates inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his privates unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer.
"I'll pay anyone 100 dollars who's willing to give it a try."
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A blonde woman timidly spoke up.
"I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."

71.1% like joke (689 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in.
After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, "Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn't like me to stay out during late night."
The first guy replies, "I'll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning."
The guy agrees to try that and continues drinking with him for two more hours before heading home to give it a try.
When he got home, the house was pitch black. He sneaks upstairs into the bedroom, pulled back the covers and proceeded to lick for 20 minutes. The bed was like a swamp so he decided to wash his face.
As he walked into the bathroom, his wife was sitting on the toilet.
Seeing her he screamed, "What the hell are you doing in here?!"
"Quiet!", she exclaimed. "You'll wake my mother."

71.1% like joke (604 votes)
category: Yo mama jokes

Your mama so dumb she stared at an orange juice carton because it said concentrate.

71.08% like joke (672 votes)
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