Best jokes

Best 100 short funny jokes based on visitors votes. Please rate funny short jokes by clicking on smiles, so funniest jokes will be also best jokes on our web site!
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funny mosquito
jokes: 71 - 80 of 100
category: Kids jokes71.

Why did the tomato turn red?
Because he saw the salad dressing.

rating: 3.55 of 782 votes

category: D*rty jokes72.

A total naked woman rushed in a taxi. The taxi driver turned back and stared at her so keenly. The woman asked the taxi driver, "Why are you staring at me that way, haven't you ever seen a naked woman?" The taxi driver replied, "No, I just wonder where you have my money."

rating: 3.55 of 620 votes

category: Kids jokes73.

Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?

Because all the fans have left.

rating: 3.55 of 654 votes

category: Animal jokes74.

Two neighbors are talking to each other.
First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me?
Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well.
First neighbor: Really, well then, how?
Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.

rating: 3.55 of 651 votes

category: D*rty jokes75.

A guy walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms. The cashier asks him if he wants a bag. He responds, "No, she's not that ugly."

rating: 3.55 of 701 votes

category: Chuck Norris jokes76.

Once chuck norris and time had race.
Result: The time is still running.

rating: 3.55 of 607 votes

category: D*rty jokes77.

Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in inappropriate parts and said to his dad, "I wish I could do that."
Jimmy's dad looked down at Jimmy and said, "Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!!"

rating: 3.55 of 607 votes

category: D*rty jokes78.

Whats the difference between being hungry and being h*rny?
Where you put the cucumber.

rating: 3.55 of 743 votes

category: Family jokes79.

Sam called his wife and said to her in a weak voice, "Hey baby, I was driving to a coffee shop to meet Mary when all of a sudden, a stray dog came in the way. I tried to steer left to avoid running it down, but the car skidded due to high speed, rolled over and almost ran off the cliff. The car was hanging nose down over the cliff, as I looked down fearing impending death. I just managed to climb out of the car and save my life, just before the car fell over the cliff crashing thousands of feet below and was blown into smithereens."

Sam continued, "I was taken to a hospital. I have a broken leg, broken jaw, dislocated shoulder and several injuries on my head."

There was silence on the phone, then the wife asked, "Who is Mary?"

rating: 3.55 of 713 votes

category: Blonde jokes80.

3 women are waiting to be executed one is a brunette, one is a red head and one is a blonde.

The brunette is called up and the executer says do you have any last words and she says no. The exucter then continues and says ready aim and the brunette shouts earthquake everyone is startled and jumps to the floor while the brunette escapes.

Then the red head is called up and once again the exucter shouts any last words and once again the red head replies no. So the executer shouts ready aim and the red head shouts tornado everyone is scared and starts running around while the red head escapes.

By now the blonde understands what she has to do so when she gets called up and the executer asks her if she has any last words she says no. Then once again the executer shouts ready aim and the brunette shouts FIRE!

rating: 3.55 of 628 votes

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