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category: Women jokes

Q. What book do you like the most?
A. Woman: "My husbands checkbook."

71.78% like joke (673 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm.
He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'."
His wife says, "That's a duck."
He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."

71.72% like joke (775 votes)
category: School jokes

One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her.
Ms. Evans was talking about evolution. Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn't believe in God.
Then Johnny raised his hand and said, "But I thought God created mankind?"
Ms. Evans then replied, "Well can you see God?"
"No."
"Hear God?"
"No."
"Feel God?"
"No." This went on for quite a while.
"Well then God doesn't exist."
Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, "Can you see Ms. Evan's brain. No, so that must not exist."

71.7% like joke (754 votes)
category: Political jokes

Mexicans cross the border 1....2....and 4 at one time, never 3. why?
Because the sign says - no tres passing.

71.68% like joke (638 votes)
category: Animal jokes

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A investigator!

71.64% like joke (755 votes)
category: Political jokes

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline.
I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

71.6% like joke (663 votes)
category: Religious jokes

Jesus and the devil were arguing over which one of them was the better computer programmer.
"I am!" Jesus shouted.
"No, I am!" the devil countered.
"I am!"
"I am!"
"Me!"
"No, me!"
"EEEEEEENOUGH!" God bellowed, and the whole universe disappeared into darkness. When the lights came back on, two computers were sitting in front of them.
God said "Now, whoever makes the best computer program in twenty minutes wins."
Jesus and the devil both sat down, typing and clicking furiously. This went on for about 15 minutes, but then there was a power failure, and everything went dark. When everything came back up again, the computer screens were both blank.
The devil tried in vain to get back everything he had lost. He came up empty-handed.
Jesus pressed one key and it all came back.
The devil looked at him in astonishment. "No way! How did you do that?!"
Jesus turned to him and smiled, and said "Everybody knows Jesus saves."

71.58% like joke (747 votes)
category: Kids jokes

Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?

Because all the fans have left.

71.58% like joke (676 votes)
category: School jokes

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t".
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.

71.58% like joke (650 votes)
category: Kids jokes

What did the red light say to the green light?
Don't look I'm changing!

71.52% like joke (672 votes)
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