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jokes: 51 - 60 of 100
category: Kids jokes

A kid asks his father:
Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed?
Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.

71.66% like joke (864 votes)
category: Women jokes

Q. What book do you like the most?
A. Woman: "My husbands checkbook."

71.64% like joke (670 votes)
category: Religious jokes

Jesus and the devil were arguing over which one of them was the better computer programmer.
"I am!" Jesus shouted.
"No, I am!" the devil countered.
"I am!"
"I am!"
"Me!"
"No, me!"
"EEEEEEENOUGH!" God bellowed, and the whole universe disappeared into darkness. When the lights came back on, two computers were sitting in front of them.
God said "Now, whoever makes the best computer program in twenty minutes wins."
Jesus and the devil both sat down, typing and clicking furiously. This went on for about 15 minutes, but then there was a power failure, and everything went dark. When everything came back up again, the computer screens were both blank.
The devil tried in vain to get back everything he had lost. He came up empty-handed.
Jesus pressed one key and it all came back.
The devil looked at him in astonishment. "No way! How did you do that?!"
Jesus turned to him and smiled, and said "Everybody knows Jesus saves."

71.6% like joke (744 votes)
category: School jokes

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t".
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.

71.6% like joke (647 votes)
category: Kids jokes

Why did the tomato turn red?
Because he saw the salad dressing.

71.58% like joke (862 votes)
category: Political jokes

Mexicans cross the border 1....2....and 4 at one time, never 3. why?
Because the sign says - no tres passing.

71.54% like joke (635 votes)
category: Political jokes

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline.
I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

71.54% like joke (658 votes)
category: School jokes

One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her.
Ms. Evans was talking about evolution. Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn't believe in God.
Then Johnny raised his hand and said, "But I thought God created mankind?"
Ms. Evans then replied, "Well can you see God?"
"No."
"Hear God?"
"No."
"Feel God?"
"No." This went on for quite a while.
"Well then God doesn't exist."
Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, "Can you see Ms. Evan's brain. No, so that must not exist."

71.5% like joke (749 votes)
category: Kids jokes

Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?

Because all the fans have left.

71.5% like joke (674 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard.
Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air.
When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy.
A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!" "What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

71.44% like joke (647 votes)
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