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category: Lawyer jokes

How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
Just say, "Fees."

72.1% like joke (716 votes)
category: School jokes

Teacher: Has anyone heard of the word expensive?
Lily: Yes!
Teacher: When?
Lily: Just right now!

72.1% like joke (446 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values.
At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison.
Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, ".....but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you?"
He said, "...Scr*w him .........give him a dollar."
The blonde then blushed and said, "....But the breakfast was my idea."

72.08% like joke (669 votes)
category: School jokes

teacher asked : Why are you late for school?
Johnny: Because of the Sign.
Teacher : What Sign?
Johnny : The sign that says "School ahead go slow"

72.02% like joke (680 votes)
category: School jokes

Why did the student eat his homework?
Because his teacher said, it was a peace of cake.

72% like joke (788 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm.
He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'."
His wife says, "That's a duck."
He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."

71.96% like joke (767 votes)
category: Yo mama jokes

Yo mama so ugly when she goes to the store she makes the onions cry.

71.94% like joke (1200 votes)
category: School jokes

Teacher: I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!!!! DO I HAVE TO SPELL EVERYTHING FOR YOU?!
Studen: No I can spell EVERYTHING: E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!

71.9% like joke (698 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face.
I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."

71.9% like joke (653 votes)
category: Family jokes

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."

71.7% like joke (669 votes)
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