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jokes: 31 - 40 of 100
category: Animal jokes

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later, there is a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says, "What the hell was that all about?"

72.72% like joke (763 votes)
category: Bar jokes

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."

72.66% like joke (757 votes)
category: School jokes

Teacher: What makes you see?
Bobyjack: My eyes, my nose and my ears.
Teacher: True for the eyes but why for your ears and nose?
Bobyjack: It's to hold my glasses!!!

72.56% like joke (738 votes)
category: Family jokes

A husband tells his wife, "Since it is your birthday, remember that yellow Lamborghini that you really wanted?". The wife screams in joy and starts crying tears of joy. Then the husband says, "Well I got you a toothbrush, same color".

72.52% like joke (700 votes)
category: Kids jokes

Kid threw the butter out the window, he wanted to see a butterfly.

72.32% like joke (888 votes)
category: Kids jokes

What is a bunny's favorite music?

Hip-hop.

72.32% like joke (1062 votes)
category: School jokes

Teacher: Has anyone heard of the word expensive?
Lily: Yes!
Teacher: When?
Lily: Just right now!

72.26% like joke (445 votes)
category: Kids jokes

Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake?
A: A jump rope!

72.26% like joke (1695 votes)
category: Math jokes

Q: Why was the math textbook so sad?
A: He had a lot of problems!

72.22% like joke (731 votes)
category: Animal jokes

A man has his car full of penguins. He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him. He says. "Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!"
The man does that.
The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins. Once again he drives past the policeman. "Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!"
"I did," replies the man. "We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"

72.12% like joke (701 votes)
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