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jokes: 21 - 30 of 100
category: D*rty jokes

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b*tch in the kitchen."

73.46% like joke (714 votes)
category: Computer jokes

Why did the computer get cold?
Because it forgot to close windows.

73.36% like joke (766 votes)
category: School jokes

Ms.Battle: Henry, I hope I didn't see you copying Casey's math test.
Henry: I hope you didn't either.

73.34% like joke (723 votes)
category: School jokes

Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write.
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!

73.2% like joke (916 votes)
category: School jokes

Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!

73.18% like joke (936 votes)
category: Police jokes

Caller: Dials in 911 Hello officer, I broke my arm in 3 places!
Officer: Then stop going to those places.

73.16% like joke (904 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies,"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What"s so special about it?"
The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says, "What"s it telling you now?"
Well, it says you"re not wearing any panties."
The woman giggles and replies "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing"s an hour fast."

72.96% like joke (730 votes)
category: Kids jokes

Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken?
A: Egg-splosion

72.88% like joke (1088 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"
"Blind man!"
The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in.
The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice t*ts. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"

72.8% like joke (755 votes)
category: Computer jokes

Why was the computer tired when he got home?
Because he had a hard drive.

72.78% like joke (753 votes)
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