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jokes: 21 - 30 of 100
category: Men jokes

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don"t know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....
"Go get your Mother."

73.6% like joke (709 votes)
category: Religious jokes

Two Priests are walking down the street when a drunk man comes up to them. He says, to the first Priest," I'm Jesus Christ." The Priest replys," No son, you're not!" So he says to the second,"I'm Jesus Christ." He says,"No, son, you're not." The drunk says," Look I can prove it." He takes the two Preists into the bar.
The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says," JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE HERE AGAIN!!!"

73.24% like joke (816 votes)
category: School jokes

Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write.
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!

73.24% like joke (884 votes)
category: School jokes

Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!

73.1% like joke (915 votes)
category: Police jokes

Caller: Dials in 911 Hello officer, I broke my arm in 3 places!
Officer: Then stop going to those places.

72.94% like joke (867 votes)
category: D*rty jokes

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"
"Blind man!"
The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in.
The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice t*ts. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"

72.94% like joke (722 votes)
category: School jokes

Ms.Battle: Henry, I hope I didn't see you copying Casey's math test.
Henry: I hope you didn't either.

72.88% like joke (696 votes)
category: Computer jokes

Why did the computer get cold?
Because it forgot to close windows.

72.8% like joke (732 votes)
category: Bar jokes

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."

72.76% like joke (730 votes)
category: Kids jokes

Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake?
A: A jump rope!

72.66% like joke (1573 votes)
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